Fear of Losing Yourself
by The Lonely Goatherd
Summary: “Together, in the single bed, the two rested”; On a cold winters night Galinda and Elphaba wonder what it would be like to fly. Lots of fluff and some angst thrown in for good measure. Gelphie.


**Disclaimer: **Yeah, don't own Wicked.

**Summary:** "Together, in the single bed, the two rested"; On a cold winters night Galinda and Elphaba wonder what it would be like to fly.

**Fear of Losing Yourself-  
-A One Shot**

Together, in the single bed, the two rested, using the other for warmth on the coldest of nights.

Galinda knew it was silly for them to lie in Elphaba's bed instead of her own. The green woman's bed was closer to the window. Her sheets were thinner than Galinda's. Her mattress just that must thicker. And yet, lying on Elphaba's bed, wrapped in her warm embrace; there was no where more comfortable to Galinda in the whole of Oz. No where she'd rather be.

It had become their routine. Spending their weekend nights huddle together on Elphaba's, reading their respective books. Or, on occasion, sharing a book. And more often than not, sharing sweet, innocent kisses that warmed Galinda better than any hot toddy ever had.

Galinda never dreamed that this would become her life. Falling in love with her roommate, a woman, and Elphaba no less. But here she was, and it was okay by her on all means. Life with Elphaba was interesting, to say the least. But Galinda wouldn't have it any other way.

On this particular night, Elphaba was reading, while Galinda simply cuddled into her side. Occasionally reading what was on the book before them both, but not having the attention enough to care. She let her mind wander, thinking of nothing and everything all at once. Simply enjoying the quiet time that had enveloped them.

She refrained from speaking. Not because Elphaba was reading, Ozma knew she had no problem interrupting the woman while she read, but because the serene atmosphere of their small dorm room was too intimate to break.

The fire in their room cackled with a quiet hum, creating just enough ambient noise to be inviting in the most private of ways.

Across the room and through the window, Galinda watched as snow fell outside. It was the first snow of the season; icy and chilly winds had threatened of a storm all week, and finally they were in the midst of it. Just watched the frozen flakes fall made Galinda all the colder and she unconsciously huddled closer to Elphaba. The other woman responded by tightening the arm around her and rubbing her arm.

Galinda smiled.

Against the silhouette of the moon Galinda saw movement. The wide wing span of an owl, or Owl, rose high in the sky, circling the campus of Shiz with dignified movement and finesse. The figure would swoop low then rise high, completely free of the confines of gravity. Going as high or as low as it pleased. Nothing could seem to stop it.

What Galinda would give for a freedom such as that.

"Elphie?" Galinda finally spoke, feeling compelled the speak for the first time that night.

"Yes my sweet?" Elphaba asked, running her hand through Galinda's golden locks. It had become a habit Galinda was certain Elphaba hadn't known she had made. Simple inquisitive comment from Galinda would prompt Elphaba to respond as she just had. It was the sweet gestures as these that Galinda realized made her fall for her mysterious, reserved roommate, and all the more reason to love her.

"Have you ever thought about flying?"

"Flying?" Elphaba asked, turning the page of her book. Galinda was still amazed by Elphaba's ability to read and yet fully engage herself in a conversation. With any other person, this trait would have bothered Galinda. But with Elphaba…Galinda wouldn't have it any other way. "What about flying?"

Galinda shrugged. "I don't know. What it would be like, I suppose."

Elphaba closed her book, staring across the room in thought, her head tilted slightly to the side. "I don't think I would like it very much," she finally said, placing her book on her night stand.

Galinda pushed herself up, breaking Elphaba's hold on her, so she could look her in the eye. "Why not?"

Again, Elphaba paused. "It just seems like a long way to go only to fall back down," she said with a shrug, her usual cynicism seeping through her words.

"But, Elphie, the whole point of flying is so you don't fall."

"Many young birds and Birds have had their fair share of falls."

Galinda shook her head, "Only when they learn. But once they get going. Oh Elphie, think of what it would feel like." As Galinda spoke, she closed her eyes giving in to what she could only imagine would be the feeling of flight. "Think of the freedom."

"So much freedom can result in something far worse then a few moments pleasure," Elphaba replied, drawing out her words with a practiced skill.

Galinda huffed. "What Oz-awful thing could possibly result from a person having the ability to fly? Elphie, I do love you, but you are a humbug," she said, pinching Elphaba's bony hip.

Elphaba smirked. "And you'd have me no other way."

Galinda ignored the comment with a smirk of her own (a trait she had acquired from her green companion). "Either that or you're just toying with me in that mean way you do," she said, rolling until she was half lying atop Elphaba.

"Perhaps I am," Elphaba said, running her hand down Galinda's arm. "But I still stick by my answer."

"But why?" Galinda pressed. "I would think you of all people would love the idea of flying?"

"Why's that?" Elphaba asked with a bemused grin.

"The freedom to go where ever you please, absolutely no boundaries." As she spoke Galinda's voice filled with a desire of fascination.

"I can go where ever I please now. Up there isn't much different from down here."

"Isn't much different? Elphie, flight gives you the world!"

"I'm quite happy with the world I have here," Elphaba said with a sweet smile.

Galinda rolled her eyes but smiled. "You're sweet," she said, placing a chaste kiss on Elphaba's lips. "But you still haven't answered my question."

"That's because you posed another one before I could answer."

"Elphie," Galinda half-whined.

Elphaba smiled crookedly, but her eyes turned to a darker shade; one, that Galinda had learned, meant a deep contemplation. After a few moments silence she finally spoke. "It's stupid, really."

"Flying? Or your reason why?"

"Both?" Elphaba asked and she turned, so both she and Galinda were looking out the window. The owl still circled through the air. "I just think…it would seem lonely, wouldn't it? Having that much freedom. I fear I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

Galinda inwardly smiled, tilting her chin up to look at Elphaba's face. "And here I thought you rather liked being alone."

Elphaba shrugged. "Things changed," she said, looking at Galinda out of the corner of her eye.

Galinda readjusted herself, so her head fit right under Elphaba's chin. "What if we went together?"

"Flying?"

Galinda hummed in response.

"That sounds much more appealing," Elphaba replied.

They lie contentedly for a few moments, letting their breaths fall into a rhythm; Galinda allowing herself to imagine what it would be like to fly with Elphaba. "We could fly in a bubble," Galinda said, musing out loud.

Elphaba chuckled lightly. "A bubble?"

Galinda nodded. "That way we can take a piece of our world with us and if we were to ever fall, we'd be protected," she said determinedly.

Elphaba smiled and placed a small kiss atop Galinda's head. "You do think of everything, don't you?"

Galinda smiled. "Of course."

As the night wore on, their conversation dwindled to nothing more than breathing and dreams, the two contentedly sleeping soundly in the others arms.

And still, the Owl flew on.

* * *

"I hope you're happy," Galinda said, her voice catching as tears she had been trying to suppress finally began to fall.

"You too," Elphaba said quietly. Galinda was certain she could even see tears forming in the strong brown orbs before her.

They could hear the commotion outside. Frightened screams from the denizens of the city. The pounding of the guards on the attic door. Galinda's own heart pounded against her chest and a high pitch sound rang in her ears.

"Don't be frightened," she said, pointing to the broom in Elphaba's hand, though she wasn't certain if she was saying it for Elphaba's sake, or her own.

Elphaba looked down to the item in her hand, so mundane yet wielding so much power. "I'm not," she said. And Galinda could tell that even she was surprised by her own revelation. "It's the Wizard who should be afraid. Of me." Her last words were emphasized by a tightening of her grip on the broom.

Galinda sniffled and lunged forward, wrapping her arms tightly around Elphaba; scared to let go. "Please don't do this," she whispered into Elphaba's shoulder, unsure if the other heard her.

Elphaba pulled back slightly and wiped Galinda's cheeks clean with the soft pads of her thumbs. "Hold out, my sweet," she said, kissing her lightly. "Hold out if you can." And she kissed her again, before disappearing through the attic window; flying off into the dark Oz sky.

And Galinda did hold out. Though it pained her to do so. She befriended the Wizard and became Glinda the Good. Using her position of Goodliness and power to watch over the land Oz. Making sure the Wizard did little more harm to the citizens of the land as well as keeping out a watchful eye for her love.

And so Glinda the Good took to the sky, flying high above Oz in her pink bubble; just like the one she had described to Elphaba in the safety of their dorm room. Safe in her own little bubble of a world; using it as a shield to mask her tears from the citizens below.

Above Oz, she floated, keeping an eye on the empty Western sky.

_Fin_


End file.
